Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Missing Devan

I have been really struggling only seeing Devan for two days a week. Literally it is only two days a week. He goes to work, comes home, sleeps, and gets up gets ready for work and leaves again. I feel myself pulling away from him and I do not like it. I thought he had a lot of insight when he said that he thinks it is a defense mechanism on my part because I am not seeing him much, I miss him, and it is hard when I think about it. I do miss him. I know I don’t always show it. I know he is under a lot of stress carrying the financial burden of the family. Lately it seems when we are together either I am grumpy, ornery and unpleasant to be around, or he is tired, frustrated, and sensitive (remember this is my perspective), mopey and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. He probably feels the same way. I am also frustrated because he is once again unhappy. He likes his job when he is there, I think, but he does not like the pay, the hours, or the amount of gas it takes to get to and from work. All I want is a happy husband!!!!
Posted by at

1 comment:

R Fitz said...

Heather,

It is hard when you don't see your husband much. Zak and I have had this situation more than once during our marriage and it is never easy. Isn't it funny how you can look back on things and see that they weren't so bad? someday, if you two both work hard at making the most of this time in your life you will be able to do it with this too. I know that it isn't easy feeling like a single parent and alone so much of the time...but just try to remember that it is probably even harder on Devan...he isn't having any of the joys of being with any of his little family while he's at work plus he has the stress of knowing that he has all of you to provide for and when that isn't going as well as he would like it makes him feel like a failure inside, even if he is doing all that he can possibly do. Your family can make it through this...I know it would be easier seeing him more...but if that more meant him not working then you wouldn't enjoy it either and neither would he. I wish i had a magical solution, but I don't other than to try and do little acts of service for him that might brighten his day...like writing him love notes in his lunches, making his favorite dinners, planning inexpensive activities like picnics for his time off with you and the kids...these things will not only make him feel loved and appreciated, but they will make you feel better too because you will start coming up with more and more creative ways to express love to him which will help with you two feeling closer to each other through this trial filled time in your lives. I love you all so much. Remember what is TRULY important...each other.

May 20, 2009 at 6:29 PM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)